Even if you’ve saved every J. Crew catalog since the dawn of time, it’s unlikely you have as many quirky color names under your bed as the nearest home-improvement store has in its paint aisle. Given the overwhelming process of selecting palettes for interior walls–—how to decide between Kiss of Spring or Frappe Mint—–we’ve often thought it would be faster (and more fun) to weave names into oddball narratives, then see how the corresponding colors match up.

For instance:
A Cool Dude walked into the Corner Cafe and paid for his Bananas Foster with a Shiny Nickel. The Log Jam near the Hunting Lodge couldn’t keep Intrepid Isabella from arriving at High Noon. Westie White’s Regal Attitude concealed her Secret Dreams of Cocoa Crunch. Heather Glen, a Red Headed Beauty, dreamed of spending an Evening in Venice, but could not Escape the Everyday grind of her Industrial Steel town.

Of course, this could prove dangerous unless you’re willing to have your living room resemble the interior of a circus tent. Fortunately, there are both expert color consultants and an increasing number of online tools to help you pick hues. We asked painter Clayton Hubbard for his opinion on a selection of eco-friendly interior paints and learned in the process that the real pros forgo name games altogether and order paint by number.