Viva la Vacuum!

Vacuum cleaners promise order and cleanliness, but they can also be infuriating. Like most appliances designed to expedite chores and ameliorate messes, their malfunctioning can have an adverse effect. Rage. Despair. Bitterness toward an errant paper clip or that hairball/quarter combo that undid your Dirt Devil. Broken or poorly made domestic appliances are nuisance compounded, which is why, when you’re serious about simplifying your life, it’s a good idea to invest in a quality product. While there is no such thing as a perfect vacuum, at least in physics, there are a number of near-perfect models designed to obliterate the plenum of filth in your home.

Finding the right machine has a lot to do with your personal needs. First and foremost you must decide between a canister and an upright. Canister vacuums are lighter and less cumbersome, making them easier to maneuver up stairs and around tight areas, and their low profile and multifaceted attachments allow them to get around and clean furniture easily. However, some people find dragging the unit behind them to be awkward, and prefer uprights. Uprights generally have larger bags, and the more enlightened ones, like Dysons, have incredible power and suction, but canister vacuums with HEPA (high efficiency particulate air) filtration systems tend to leak less dusty air back into the environment.

However, most important, canister vacuums are the preferred choice of Laura Guido-Clark, creative director of InterfaceFLOR and an industry expert on “skin”—the manufactured variety. We asked Guido-Clark to help us discover which canister vacuums would do the best job sucking up the amalgam of fibers and threads that litter her studio. While she can’t help but linger bemusedly on the look and finish of each vacuum, she certainly knows that at the end of the day, it’s about performance. Luckily, the two aren’t always mutually exclusive.

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  Sanyo SC-X1000P Bagless Canister Vacuum

  • Made by: Sanyo

  Well, we couldn’t complain about the suction—until something got stuck. The design of this machine connotes power, but it’s largely aesthetic and insubstantial.  This machine has fewer attachments and is unwieldy, which suggests that cleaning with it will be a more involved and laborious process than most people would like. For those who don’t want to deal with a bag, this could be an affordable option—but really, if it’s not a Dyson, you ought to be using a bag.

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  Miele Red Velvet

  • Made by: Miele

  This is as close to perfect a vacuum as any. The quality of each of the attachments, the material, and overall usability are impressive. The one drawback is the price, which is more than most people will want to pay. However, as with any high-quality piece of machinery, you are paying for endurance and reliability.

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  Bosch Formula Electro Duo Plus HEPA

  • Made by: Bosch

  Not to throw the c-bomb around too much, but this machine is dang cute. The design is simple and straightforward; there aren’t too many buttons or settings to overwhelm, and the performance and ease of use are enviable. This probably isn’t the best machine for a heavily carpeted area, as the suction and carpet brush don’t seem to be as strong as those of the other high-end models, but it’s ideal for a smaller apartment or loft. This is the perfect choice for a female, mid-20s, magazine-writer type, who works, perhaps, for a modern design and architecture publication, and is possibly named Amber.

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  Hoover WindTunnel Canister S3639

  • Made by: Hoover

  This isn’t the best-looking machine on the market, but it certainly remains true to the Hoover name as far as suction goes. It’s unfortunate that such a powerful, well-made mechanical system is housed in such a shoddy body. It’s true that it’s what’s inside that counts, but the extraneous cords and overall plastickyness make this the least desirable of the group. While we’re always for Britishisms, we’re going to have to do our hoovering elsewhere.

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  Electrolux Oxygen3 Ultra

  • Made by: Electrolux

  Like the Bosch, the Electrolux is an agile and effective machine. The difference is that the Electrolux seems more thought out in both material and functionality. The attention to detail, finish, and use makes this a desirable machine. The vacuum brush is powerful and the easy-to-reach attachments are a real perk. The floor attachment is powerful and quickly sucks up anything you throw in its path. While the Bosch seems more maneuverable, thanks to the castor wheels, the Electrolux boasts all of the compact efficiency but in a more luxurious package.